PLAY

SO SHINES A GOOD DEED IN A WEARY WORLD

For the Celebration of White Settlers Massacring Native Americans I stayed indoors and revisited my childhood. This started with my finishing a novel by Ghassan Kanafani, a short collection of his writings titled Men In the Sun and Other Palestinian Stories (Kanafani was killed in a car bomb planted by the Mossad when he was 36). It made me reflect on my childhood and the childhood denied to Palestinian children. 

I went back and thought of the things that I had loved as a child. Things I had not thought of in years, or more than a decade to be more precise, things that had kept me entertained, made me laugh, made me scared, made me want to be a writer, made my imagination go off the rails, made me feel less alone.

So it was only appropriate to start with the 1990 film adaptation of Roald Dahl's The Witches. I remember watching the movie obsessively on VHS when I was a kid, how horrified I was that a children's novel could be so dark and disturbing suddenly on screen. Yet I appreciated how nothing was sugarcoated in those days, that a lot of children's authors had a twisted sense of humor, or were just troubled individuals, from the Grimm brothers, to Lewis Carroll, to Roald Dahl.

Of course, I had to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory right after - the 1971 Gene Wilder version. The only one that matters. It is worth noting as well, that Gene Wilder was a huge presence in my childhood, as my parents were fans of his and would play his movies in our home all the time.

My favorite scene from the entire movie is the one above, taking place a few minutes before the ending (and not from the book).

This simplistic scene that takes place after the whole mess of a factory tour encompasses the heart of the story. The scene is awkward (as confrontations and asking for free things usually are), explosive, a tad frightening, and bears the tone of defeat and frustration on Wonka's part, of which the audience wouldn't understand until moments later (those who don't know the story anyway). A misunderstanding between men ensues, and Wonka ends the escalating argument wth a severe yet classy "Good day, sir!" But after Charlie acts on his conscience and returns the gobstopper, Wonka's tenderness is restored. He quotes a line of Shakespeare from The Merchant of Venice, which suggests that Wonka is in fact a sophisticated, well read man, and suddenly is overjoyed. He explains why he did what he had to do, as it was all a "test" and the brutal honesty of it all became quite poignant. 

That there comes a point in a person's life when one has to go to great lengths, however ludicrous, to find a single trustworthy and decent human being to rely on. Especially if you are a man like Willy Wonka, who dedicated his life to his passion, has no family and close friends, and is reclusive for good reason. The world outside his chocolate factory gates is vile and disheartening, and so he resorts to putting his faith in a child—one still innocent and uncorrupted by society, one of the purest of hearts.

DILEMMAS

"When I was in school, I was a bad kid. Later, when I was invited to give a talk at the school, I wasn't sure if I should tell the kids that they should study hard, or that it is okay to be a rebel. I wasn't sure what advice to give the kids. Studying hard doesn't guarantee you will become a respectable person. Even if you're a bad kid...there are people like me who change. I thought that would be a good lesson to teach. But if I said that bad kids can succeed later on like I did all the kids would start misbehaving, which would be a problem. Always doing what you are told doesn't mean you'll succeed in life."

From Jiro Dreams of Sushi

WHY WHITE TEETH IS A TERRIBLE BOOK

Harrowing times call for a retreat into solitude and fiction. This October I've only managed to read Kazuo Ishiguro's The Remains of the Day, which was a laborious read for the most part, probably due to the fact that mentally I was in a state of constant distraction. It was only upon coming to the end of the novel that I came to fully appreciate it. A story of commitment and sacrifice, and the lost concept of taking pride in your job – I highly recommend the book.

I also read Zadie Smith's White Teeth.

I don't know if you've read White Teeth and if you did, my condolences. Unless you enjoyed it, then we have nothing in common in regards to taste, and perhaps intelligence.

I started reading White Teeth with high hopes (first mistake, never allow awards and high praise from other individuals or literary organizations to determine how you feel about something before you've even tried it yourself), but as the story stretched on for what seemed like an eternity the painful truth began to sink in. The characters and issues "examined" in the novel became ridiculous and annoying. Her language convoluted and overblown. Smith's agenda against organized religion and tradition was dogmatic and typical of new atheists of this day, not to mention irresponsible in what it tried to portray through the pompously superior stance those of pseudo-intellectual backgrounds thrive on. What makes this even more cringe-worthy is the fact that she wrote the novel at the age of 22 (or 23...or let's just say when she was in her final year at Cambridge). That already sets off the alarm bells. (Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein when she was nineteen, but those were different times, one could argue).

Why did I read a book written by someone lacking life experience and wisdom, who wrote a book nearly 500 pages long about issues as complex as culture, identity, religion, immigration, family, racism, science, all kneaded together until reduced to a white, pasty blob of nothing, I berated myself. Furthermore, I've come to conclude that books of unnecessary cruel length (Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay is another) (see also Dave Eggers' The Circle, a terrible novel) showcases the author's self absorbtion. Yes, apart from White Teeth being written through a narrow scope of naivete masked by ornate, flaunting sentence structure, it was like reading the rants and estimations of a twenty something hipster so far up their own ass, so in love with the sound of their own voice, commanding an audience of gullible readers who know next to nothing about what it's like being a minority or person of color in a major white-dominated setting. And Smith does nothing to accurately illustrate the reality of race issues in her country.

The whitewashing of the story is embarrassing even for fiction, which is why people love it and applaud the illusion successfully masquerading as reality. There is no violence, hate, or discrimination that exists in England, by Smith's fictional account, except for in the Iqbal family, a Bengali Muslim family so dysfunctional and morally bankrupt due to their own faults and weaknesses. While I did find humor throughout the novel, the caricatures presented as people were the worst element of the story. All of the parents are useless, irresponsible pushovers who have no idea how to raise their kids. Perhaps there is a point to that, in reflecting the good for nothing parents of today's society who neglect to instill any inkling of respect, manners or principles in their equally good for nothing offspring. And that's also my point - that such a pathethic upbringing is not a shared experience of all western or westernized Muslims. Yet Smith uses one family to generalize the idea that Muslims yearn to be white, western, and have no problem assimiliating or surrendering in British society.

To conclude, White Teeth is one of the worst books I've ever read, and I can't recommend against it enough. It is too weak and shortsighted in its juvenile efforts at tackling intricate problems of society and individual human struggles.

*To Smith's credit, she has since acknowledged that White Teeth was an embarrassing work from her younger years (she is now 39).

WORK ETHIC

Every so often I find myself in a predicament, and more often than not it is the fault of others. I was editing a grad school friends' paper the other night only to find while checking their sources that they're blatant plagiarists. Inevitably, this resulted in my taking them down several pegs in regards to respectability.

Let me be more specific with what I take issue with. When you copy and paste a whole block of sentences from a source, and make no effort to revise those sentences at the very least to say it differently, you are a tool. 

I become conflicted in such situations and soon find myself asking existentialist questions. Plagiarizing is unethical to me as it's stealing someone else's work/words, but these are my close friends and they can't write a paper for shit anyway, so do I let this go and never bring it up?

Do I refuse to edit a plagiarized paper and risk feeling bad if those friends never ask for help again down the line? Maybe we weren't meant to be friends to begin with? If they are ambitious and are putting themselves through grad school to garner the respect of others, but make no effort to write their own papers and still get far in life, is that proof that there is no God?

I don't mean to be so severe, but that is who I am.

I am also optimistic. I am optimistic despite life being long and cold and arduous and the journey really just a solitary walk.

I READ A BOOK AND WENT TO NEW YORK CITY

Salem St, Boston

I'm just finishing Jon Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven. Besides being a fan of his previous works, I think it's commendable that he took the initiative to write about shocking Mormon fundamentalism that occurs in America's own backyard shortly after September 11, 2001, not to detract from the tragedy of that moment in time, but to draw attention to dangerous religious extremism that goes largely disregarded from American criticism that eagerly and arrogantly directs itself instead at foreign ways of life.

The hypocrisy of humans never ceases to both amaze and disgust me, and the book is convoluted with such disturbing aspects of polygamy, incest, rape, inbreeding and entitlement that I must admit I felt inclined to vomit. Add to that the delusional religious fanatics the world over who think they're having direct conversations with God and are his self-proclaimed prophets and you have yourself a book that masterfully encapsulates the dreariness that is human existence, in the same sense that his book, Into Thin Air reveals human cruelty and self-centeredness.

Spent my birthday in New York City. Little brother was also there for a bike expo taking place in Queens.

I was really just the clueless person who walked around looking at bicycles pretending to be intrigued.

WORST BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD

Is The Circle by Dave Eggers the worst book I have read this summer?

Yes.

It's a disappointment, to say the least. Because I'm a big Eggers fan, ever since first reading his memoir A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius in my late teens. And then my brother giving me his copy of What Is the What to borrow, which blew my mind.

So while browsing the bookstore some weeks ago and seeing this newly released novel from last year, and the multitude of praise from every publication in existance, and shockingly, the much feared Michiko Kakutani, I willingly forked out the $15 to make a copy of it mine. Trust in Eggers, I thought. He's going off on the internet age of today, where people blindly allow technology to control their lives, diminish the value of privacy and intimacy and actually living and making experiences count. He's pointing out the problems of living through a screen, making all information available through social media in an eager, dangerous, naive, egocentric need to be seen and heard and acknowledged by everyone.

Trust in anyone who goes to great lengths to spell out the truth for the unthinking masses.

I'm on board with the subject of his latest novel. But the execution just seemed horribly wrong. For one thing, the story is 500 pages long. Due to a lot of excessive repitition and the superfluous explanation of just how impulsive and reckless the innovative minds that lead the sheep generation deeper into the abyss of a totalitarian society, the story becomes dull yet hyperbolic.

The characters are unappealing, especially the naive, submissive female protagonist (but of course), Mae, who is such an idiot I kept thinking after some time, "Come on, dude...Really?" But perhaps that's what Eggers was trying to convey anyway, that having one's life revolve around the internet and social media day in and day out makes one into a monotonous robot-like machine. Add to the fact that the dialogue was implausible and grating, I just had to relent and finally allowed myself to lose interest somewhere in the middle. After 300 pages I just started skipping paragraphs and pages impatiently, something which I very rarely do when reading, determined still to see how it all ends for naive, hopeless Mae. 

I think it was Stephen King who once wrote in his bit on writing advice, that some writers, however talented they are, can't write realistic dialogue for shit.

And it was Douglas Adams who opined that a book doesn't have to be longer than it should. He pointed out with accuracy that American writers are in the habit of writing extremely long novels, when you can say something in less words. I too, agree. If I wanted to read something that was the length of a bible I'd just read the bible.

I'm still a Dave Eggers fan, but The Circle was pretty bad.

THE CONTINUAL DESECRATION OF RAMADAN

Here is an interesting article I read a few days ago about the commercialization of Ramadan in recent times, namely in the Arab world and Southeast Asia. Reminds me of seeing Muslims flocking to restaurants and ordering everything on the menu to break fast, like they'd just spent a week starving under a tent made of rubble and debris. Way to completely defy the entire purpose of the practice. Fact is, Ramadan is all about discipline and empathy and the "cleansing of one's soul". But it's sad when one of the few holy holidays left in the world is now going the way of Christmas and Thanksgiving (not a real thing but deluded people like to think it is) and succumbing to Western ideals of excessive consumption and commercialization.

Or when people like Tamara Al-Gabbani in the article above says, in regard to DKNY creating a special Ramadan collection aimed at Arabs, "I think it is really, really important the world come together as one and the fact that an American, New York-based brand is coming to us and saying, ‘Hey, we acknowledge this beautiful time of year that you have, and we have made this just for you.’ I love that."

People are too blinded by gluttony, mistaking exploitation for goodwill. I read somewhere once that the more advanced we are the stupider we actually become. Nevermind the fact that Tamara Al-Gabbani sounds like an idiot who can't read between the lines, but if the world does "come together as one," especially during Ramadan, it should be for a significant, urgent, and collective purpose, like the rioting and demand for an end to the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians.

Can't wait to see DKNY's collection of cheongsams for Chinese New Year and tallits for Hanukkah.

SCIENCE FICTION AND CAKE

Reading more this summer, which gives me more good reason to stay off the internet. I was browsing the sale section of the bookstore one day and decided to read something lighthearted and English. And science fiction because I don't read enough of that. And Douglas Adams, rest his soul, is ace so there was no question.

I bought So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish first and laughed so hard I went back to the bookstore and bought The Restaurant At the End of the Universe, which I am just finishing before I start Life, the Universe and Everything.

This was right after I read Toni Morrison's Beloved and...well, if you've read any of Toni Morrison's novels you'd probably understand why I'm reading three of Douglas Adams' novels consecutively.

And then I made blackberry cheesecake for the first time.

CAN HUMANS DO WHAT PROPHETS SAY?

"Sometimes we attribute certain things we do not understand to the demon, not thinking they may be things of God that we do not understand." (80)

DILEMMAS

"Sometimes it's a super clean operation. No one was hurt except the terrorists. You say, 'okay, I made a decision, and X number of people were killed. They were definitely about to launch a big attack.' Yet you still say, 'there's something unnatural about it.' What's unnatural is the power you have to take three people, terrorists, and take their lives in an instant."

Yuval Diskin, Head of Shin Bet (2005-2011)

From The Gatekeepers

PRETENDERS

The Prime Minister of Malaysia announced recently from his position of power and authority, that "human rights-ism goes against Muslim values." He expands, "in this age of globalisation, there are attempts to spread retrograde values such as pluralism and liberalism by linking it to Islam. It is very dangerous to our faith...What more for deviant movements like the LGBT to be recognised and permitted." (From The Star Online)

These dogmatic words come from the poster boy for Islam, Najib Razak, known for more than a few scandalous affairs in Malaysia. They are the beliefs of a person with no sense of empathy. 

I do not link the emotion as being exclusive to being liberal or progressive. I link them to being human. I don't know how he defines the term "retrograde," if he, and those like him, (the Sultan of Brunei comes to mind) sees a nation's progression only in terms of economic development and wealth, but refuses to acknowledge the backwardness of a people and their demeaning of others who are different.

One great thing about religion is that it always brings out the true hypocrites.

KIDS

Bangkok, 1995

My mother was cleaning out some boxes in storage and found this letter that I'd completely forgotten about. She took a picture of it and sent it to me.

People don't write letters anymore, but I'm glad to have artifacts that have come from and survived friendships that did not stand the test of time, the only remainder of what had once been. Maya Angelou said that people will never forget how you made them feel. At age 10 I made one of my best friends laugh hysterically every day at school.

One of the greatest joys in life is being able to be the complete goofball that you are at heart and have your friends appreciate you for it.

PHILADELPHIA

I boarded a train bound for Philadelphia three weekends ago and surprised some dudes at a bike store in North Philly. Walked in on a cold, damp Friday evening and was met with a lingering bear hug from Paul, who I hadn't seen in over a year. The newest and youngest addition to the crew - blonde, blue eyed Mike, who I had only spoken to on the phone on previous occasions, was working too. Izzat wasn't there so I hung out with those ace mechanics until closing time.

Had dinner with little brother and Hanan that night.

Saturday started early. We had breakfast at OCF coffeeshop in the walking distance Fairmount neighborhood before opening up at 10am. Izzat initiated the work day by playing Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry Be Happy, a song I find suitable to be used as a torture tactic against the people you despise the most, especially if you take into consideration the cruel taunting of the message in that context, especially if played on repeat, and even if I am unequivocally against torture. But the song has been a permanent fixture in the store's daily playlist since the inception of Kayuh Bicycles and the most I will say to express my objection to the song is a simple, "hate this song." To which Paul once immediately switched to another tune as a gentleman would, I guess, but my brother tends to believe that no one is more capable to endure painful things more than I. To some extent, he is right.

Why do Westerners need help with everything? What's wrong with being a bad conversationalist? My theory is that socially inept people tend to become good conversationalists when meeting "their people" finally. It is worth the wait, in my opinion.

Because what's so bad about struggling through life?

Or having breakfast alone at the bar seat?

BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP

While browsing the internet for popular blog posts of the day I was brought to a site titled Skinny Confidential. I could see that it was another generic fashion type blog, but decided to see what could possibly make it such a popular post.

The blonde blogger from San Diego wrote a post about women shaving their faces and then gushed over why it should be a trend now, because America is all about trends. She included a YouTube video of some person going by the name of Michelle Money (upon googling the name, because I had no idea who she was, I learned that she was a reality show contestant) who demonstrated how a woman should shave her face to get rid of any facial hair or peach fuzz.

I found nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. What was gross about her video, and I only got to 1:25 of the 4 minute demonstration before turning it off, was her presentation. She spoke with a condescension that proliferates unrealistic beauty standards already rampant in today's society. "I don't care who you are, ladies. You have hair on your face and men don't like it." This is what she says with arrogant authority. This is also the moment I instinctively made my what the fuck face at the screen and turned her off, wishing I hadn't come to learn of her existance. I think this of a lot of people today who are given a universal platform, a lot of irresponsible and ignorant people who spread all sorts of tripe over the internet. Females who set women back a hundred years are of no exception.

Finding the whole thing ridiculous and pathetic, I wrote a comment on her blog, for the sake of intelligent debate or discussion with others, in which I pointed out the fact that it's girls like Michelle Money and the blogger herself who encourage girls to be too hard on themselves and strive towards perfection. And not even to feel better about themselves, as many of us who experiment with make up and such do, but to please men. Those people who only exist in this world because women decide to push them out of their vaginas. That is how they come to be. That is the only reason they get to live life. And these cunts think we should plan our lives to revolve around some of these boys who never learned from a young age to appreciate the natural woman, boys whose opinions don't, won't and never will matter when it comes to beauty or standards. How insecure do you have to be to promote such drivel? If you are with someone who makes you feel like you're not physically attractive enough then they are the problem. 

Needless to say, my comment was immediately deleted by the owner of the blog.

Later, I am reading the news story on the high school prom-related murder in Connecticut and post a comment on the messageboard. I point out the obvious, once again, that America is a morally bankrupt nation. If you disagree with this then you are wrong. The only culture that permeates the US is that of violence, entitlement, and Black Friday deals. The constant news stories such as the school stabbing is a reflection of that, and it's time the severity of the issue is addressed internally. Several other commentors agree with me, but many more probably flagged my comment because half an hour later it was deleted by CNN moderators.

Lately, as I work arduously at writing and researching my first book, I think about the painful fact that talking truths and accuracy is an outrage today. People are conditioned to reject the truth in favor of deceit, as it is much easier to accept. Whenever a sole individual comes up to the podium and makes an unpopular yet genuine remark about the state of our society today, the masses react in hostile denial. They attack the person uninfluenced by the propaganda of media, corporations, or politics, thus speaking from a clear, informed perspective, but because they are an army of one, they lose.

The people who are given platforms today to spread their vile, superficial beliefs to the world are just another problem contributing to society's fast decline. And the blogosphere is now a cesspool of dangerously insecure, hollow consumers begging to have their voices heard, yet have nothing of significance to say.

COMMON DECENCY

Just after the first vinyl pressing in 1981, the record company received a serious letter from the World Council of Islam in the UK stating that they considered the recording offensive. "We consider this blasphemy that you put grooves to the chanting of the Holy Book.” Without any explanation, ‘Qu'ran’ was removed from later re-releases of 'My Life in the Bush of Ghosts'.

“ There was an op-ed piece in The New York Times by an evolutionary biologist or somebody - which was a curious place for the opinion to come from - and he said that there's no such thing as a completely free, uncensored medium, that people censor themselves all the time, in deference to hurting other people’s feelings, or offending other groups, or in their own, not to provoke a fight. It is a form of censorship, but that’s also the way people are as animals - that you don’t unnecessarily provoke people unless you really are looking for a fight. And we thought, "Okay, in deference to somebody's religion, we'll take it off. And you do self-censor certain things, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. That’s just the way human social interaction works. "  

- David Byrne

MORNING

THE STREETS

6am walk in the North End, under the snow flurries.

Just me, the streets, and my thoughts.

THE UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING