What are you planning for the summer? Who wants to hang? We don't need to know each other, as that is part of the magic of life and experience. I find that the people I most think about lately are strangers I've met for the shortest amount of time. I just always remember to ask their names, because I don't want to forget them.
Last summer the audacious Uzair started e-mailing me while I was traveling through California and Vegas. He was in New York at the time, and we'd never met before, nor did I know of him (I generally do not know who follows my blog, unless they reveal themselves) but he'd come across my blog and got in touch. He came to Boston for a day and we walked around Back Bay talking like we'd known each other for years. The next morning we had breakfast at Trident before he left to catch the bus back to NYC.
I'm thinking of being somewhere by the beach, where no one knows your name or where you're from.
The deep, endless ocean extending the promise of disappearence should you choose it.
It is romantic in theory, but means surrendering yourself to the world that has broken you, and the world hasn't broken me.
Syukri asked me once years ago if I ever thought about giving up, and I didn't have to stop and think before saying, no, I value life too much.
Why blame the world though, when we are responsible for ourselves and our own individual outcome? I put myself back together, piece by piece, over years of introspection and silence, filling my insides with the sounds of music by musicians, words of poets and authors, all of whom I had come to call my friends, while walking miles through cities and asking myself, how did I get it wrong?
Overall I am alright. I fill myself with things that keep me laughing, I just inevitably carry the tune of someone with the soul of winter, and I feel it amplified as the warmth arrives and anxiety sinks in.
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